Couples Retreat

Beginning September 2024 once a month I am offering a 10 hour Imago Therapy Couples Retreat that spans Friday-Saturday

Who is this retreat for? 

  • It’s for motivated couples who love each other, but are feeling stuck, let down, angry, and disconnected from one another, or who just feel like there are certain topics it’s really hard to bring up on their own 

  • It’s for couples who want to learn a radical new way of communicating that allows for both parties to finally feel heard and understood 

  • It’s for couples who are both willing to put in the work to reflect on themselves and how they have contributed to the current dynamics of the relationship

  • It’s for couples who are interested in learning how their childhoods set up the current emotional dynamics in the relationship and want to find the courage and insight to face those dynamics, and move beyond them

  • It’s for couples who want to revitalize both their connection and sex life and get back to having the relationship they envisioned at the start

If this sounds like you, keep reading. 

First things first, we need to have a preliminary intro session. This way I can get a feel for whether or not you both are good candidates for this kind of short term therapy, or if deeper more extended weekly therapeutic work might be more beneficial. 

In this first session you can both help me understand a bit about what you perceive the problem to be and I can help you understand some of the theory and concepts behind Imago couples therapy and how they relate to resolving those problems.

We will talk about the commitment needed from both of you for this to be effective and we can also discuss the potential for integrating hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis into our work to enhance its’ ability to impact long term growth and change.

The Retreat Schedule

Over the course of ten hours in two days we will take a deep dive into your relationship. I will give you the theory, tools, and skills, which you can then utilize long after we are finished to keep healing your connection.

  • Day 1

  • 9:00-11:00
    • Two 1 hour sessions with both partners individually
      • I do this to get a feel for how you are both differently perceiving the relationship and to establish a trusting individual connection with you both and learn a bit about your histories and backgrounds
  • 15 minute Break
    • 11:15-12:15
    • 1 hour session–envisioning the relationship you want
      • In this session we talk about the ideal relationship you both wish for and we work to find overlapping connections and points of divergence
      • In this session I will teach you both an Imago fundamental communication tool: mirroring
        • Mirroring involves hearing what your partner says, and instead of responding back to them you summarize, paraphrase, or reflect back to them what they were saying, then check in to make sure you accurately did so
  • 12:15-13:15
    • Break for lunch
  • 13:15-14:45
    • 1.5 hour session together: uncovering your childhood imago
      • Each partner works on a set of worksheets that help them to make connections between childhood caregivers and their current frustrations with their partner
      • After the worksheets are completed you share them with me and again practice mirroring back to each other what you have learned
  • 15 minute Break
  • 15:00-16:00 
    • 1 hour session together: appreciation dialogue–mirroring practice and optional hypnosis
      • In the appreciation dialogue we work to put aside our present moment grievances and reconnect with what it is about our partner that we like, love, and why we chose them
      • Option for finishing with 30 minutes of hypnotherapy that incorporates both the relationship vision and appreciation dialogue information

  • Day Two

  • 9:00-10:30
    • 1.5 hour session together: further understanding of the past present connections
      • In this session we’ll first check in on the previous day and see what is sticking with each of you, what is making sense and if there are any new insights derived
      • Then we will dive back into understanding the connections between childhood and the present time
      • I will help you understand “minimizing” and “maximizing” strategies and how one or both of you employs these strategies in the relationship.
      • We will discuss the concepts of symbiosis, differentiation, and attachment (hand outs will be provided)
      • This presents us with more opportunities to work on mirroring, in session self-regulation (because of course both of you will be triggered by this conversation), and potentially to work on doing a full imago dialogue in which each partner mirrors, validates, and empathizes with the other
  • 15 minute break
  • 10:45-12:15
    • 1.5 hour session together: Digging into the present issues
      • Everyone who goes to therapy has a core issue in mind that they want to resolve
      • In this session we will get to the heart of your shared difficulties and work to help you both mirror, validate, and empathize with each other
      • I will work to help you both connect, contain, and avoid any criticism, defensiveness or blame
      • We will finish with a brief guided meditation or deeper hypnosis to help you both ground and envision moving forward together differently
  • 1 hour Lunch Break 
  • 13:15-14:45
    • 1 hour session together: Digging into the present issues
    • In this session we will pick up where we left off before lunch and keep dialoguing
      • I will continue to work to help you both connect, contain, and avoid any criticism, defensiveness or blame
      • Then we will begin to find small, workable, concrete things you can both do or say to begin enacting daily change in your relationship. We will contract for you to keep these promises to each other
  • 15 minute break 
  • 15:00-16:00 
    • 1 hour session together: wrapping it all up
      • In our final session we will discuss what you both have learned, shared, and are taking away from the retreat
      • We will finish with either a guided meditation or a deeper hypnosis to help you both imagine and feel what it could be like moving forward differently

Four weeks later you have the option to have a follow up session where we can consolidate gains and assess and find strategies for addressing any continued stuck points

The foundational tool you’ll take away from the retreat is the ability to independently engage in an Imago Dialogue with your partner–this is what has the power to revolutionize your relationship and ability to communicate with each other.

If you’re curious what an imago dialogue looks like in action you can view one here on Youtube

 

If you watch this video and think, “Wow, that’s a really awkward way to talk to my partner, no thanks.” Then you’re not alone.

Most of my clients find this way of communicating SUPER clunky and weird at first.

But ALL change is uncomfortable, and we’ll laugh together through the wonky parts and work together when it gets hard.

I’ve found, after the initial awkwardness, using the dialogue becomes more natural for folks and eventually it becomes a cornerstone in my couple client’s continued relational stability. They now have a new way to talk to each other that ensures they’ll both be understood and feeling understood is what creates safety, closeness, and connection. 

If this sounds too good to be true, quite simply it’s not. But it WILL take effort, willingness, and engagement on both your parts. Your relationship CAN improve if you BOTH want it to. 

It’s actually that simple.

Still feel uncertain if a couples retreat is right for you?

You can message me here for a free 15 minute call to learn more and to get to know me a bit